Thick. Fine. Healthy.

Love Yourself

HEALTHY_ Love Yourself
I am feelin’ myself. I am killin’ this shit! – from My Sir & Boo in Life’s “Stylin”

If Getting Thick refers to eating and Getting Fine refers to exercise. What does Getting Healthy refer to? Self-esteem. Loving yourself. YOUR WHOLE, ENTIRE SELF!

I’m not talking about walking around shouting, “I’m fine! I look better than everybody in this room! You wish you looked liked this!” No, but I’ll come back to that. What I’m talking about is truly loving yourself. It’s about how you feel when no one else is around. Do you know how many times a day I “Hey Boo!” myself? DO YOU? Almost every time I look in a mirror. And it’s not just about loving yourself physically. Like I said, it’s about loving your WHOLE, ENTIRE self without comparing yourself to anyone else. Or even your old self for that matter
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I can’t even guess how many times I’ve heard, “Weight loss is 80% what you eat and 20% exercise.” LIES! BIG, JUICY LIES COVERED IN CREAM CHEESE ICING! ALL OF THE LIES! Weight loss/weight gain/getting healthy is not an 80/20 split! It’s 85% mental, 10% food, and 5% exercise. Aside from a lack of information, I believe the main thing that holds people back is directly related to how they feel about themselves.
I can use myself as an example here. I got down to 147 in 2006. In 2007, I went up to 157 but I was toned and appeared smaller. In early 2008, I was back in the 140s and even got down to 144. But from mid-2008 to early 2012, I gained weight. Why? Because I was stressed out! After two stressful years of advertising portfolio school, I was only in the low 160s (or upper 150s, my current weight). It was the two years after that that proved the most difficult. I had a hard time finding a job in my field (as well as in general). I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing anything and I ended up feeling very defeated and depressed. By the time I did find a (my current) job in my field in November 2011, I was already in the upper 180s. Tack on a few months of adjusting, winter, holidays and BOOM….192!

However, there was one major difference between me and what I see with a lot of people. I never hated myself. NEVER! Yes, I’d look in the mirror and say, “JESUS I AM FAT! I’M HUGE!” and I was! But I still loved myself! I still felt fine and sexy. Yes, I was less fine and less sexy but I didn’t want to lose weight so I could love myself. I wanted to lose weight so I could get MO’ FINE! Unfortunately, I see a lot of this:
  • I’m disgusted with myself.
  • I’m ashamed to go outside.
  • I CAN’T BELIEVE I’VE GAINED WEIGHT! I HATE MYSELF! (variations of this comment were made by a person who has lost over 100 pounds)
  • I don’t want to fail so I don’t want to try.
And it makes me sad because I honestly don’t know what to say sometimes. I just want to shake people and scream, “LOVE YOURSELF GIRL! LOVE IT! ALL OF IT!” Instead, I suggest anything from tips on improving your self-esteem to seeking professional help. It’s important to love yourself FIRST! Notice I keep saying your whole, entire self and all of it. That’s because plenty of people love what they see in the mirror but they still hate themselves. We’ve all seem them. They’re the {insert word associated with being attractive} person who insists on attacking people who are less of {the inserted word} than they are. They’re the person who sees a larger person at the gym and insults them for trying. Ugh, you’ll just quit anyway! Or who sees a larger person eating out and feels “disgusted” at the sight of them. HOW DARE YOU EAT FOOD! In short, this is a person who would rather put you down and help you. HOW DARE YOU BE HAPPY! IF I’M NOT, YOU CAN’T BE EITHER!

This person may have been overweight in the past. They never loved who they were before and thought losing weight would change that. It won’t. They may have always been small but they’ve never been happy with themselves for any number of reasons. This person may also be an overweight person who bashes smaller people. HOW DARE YOU BE SMALLER THAN ME! I HATE YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY! Or they hurtful words to another overweight person who would like to lose weight. Why would you want to be thin? You’ll just die first in a famine! They may also be one of many people who focus only on how they think others see them (both physically and otherwise).
 What do men like? I know they all like the exact same thing!

We all have things about ourselves that we aren’t happy with. But those things shouldn’t control how much we love ourselves. It’s okay to have “fitspiration”, it is not okay to compare yourself to that person and hate yourself. I made an inspiration board** last year full of thick, fine women. These women are fine dennamug! Praise God!!! I don’t look like any of them! And maybe I never will. But I bet when I hit my goals, I’ll be able to slap a photo of myself in there and fit right in! I don’t need to look just like them! I’m me! And you’re you!

I just want everyone to love themselves like I love myself! We should all be this conceited! WE ALL DESERVE TO BE THIS CONCEITED! I’m always sharing how I feel about myself, how much do you love your whole, entire self? And how do you plan to love yourself more?

* “Stylin” is a song featured on My Sir and Boo in Life’s*** recent mixtape It’s The World. It’s also a great example of what I like to call “conceited music” which is great for working out and boosting your mood! 😀

**I want to update my inspiration board so I won’t post it yet. Women featured on my board include: Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Amber Rose, Kim Kardashian, Keyshia Dior, Bria Myles, Rhianna, Ki Toy Johnson (the patron saint), Maliah Michele, Buffy the Body (who now runs bodynomics.com), Gigi Maguire, and several gorgeous women of Twitter.

***My Sir and Boo in Life is Young Jeezy in case you didn’t know 😛

3 thoughts on “Love Yourself

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